uncontained
Notes
Translating ‘uncontained’ by Saharawi poet Zaim Allal, our fourth and final workshop of the series, was a thrill, as it exposed us to the poem’s beautiful form and heart-wrenching voice – not to mention its giving us permission, as per the Saharawi tradition, to name the poem ourselves! Though we were not able to retain the original’s rhyming, we felt that the repetition of the word ‘tears’ nodded to this. What was especially exciting was keeping the poem’s movement going, from that initial ‘turning for the door’ to ‘till I landed’, and it says a lot about the strength and lyricism of Allal’s voice that a tear-soaked poem felt far from melodramatic in its English translation.
Kostya Tsolakis, Poet-facilitator
Additional Notes:
1 The Poem’s Form: in the Hassani poem each verse has two parts, which is something similar to the traditional Arabic poem. However, the main difference between them is that the traditional Arabic poem has one rhyme in each verse (the first part of it is unrhymed, the second is rhymed), so the whole poem has one scheme rhyming XAXA, on the other hand, all the parts of the verses in the hassani poem are rhymed. Therefore, I will call each part in this poem “a line” and I will redisplay the poem with its scheme:
A ھـﺬرات اﻟﺪﻣﻌـﺔ ﻋـﻨﺪ اﻋﻂﯾـﺖ-1
A ﺑﺎﻟﻤ ـﻔﺔ واﻣﻨـﯿﻦ اﺗﺨﻂﯾـﺖ-2
A اﻟﺒـﺎب اذرﻓـﺖ اﻟـﯿـﻦ اﻋـﻲـﯿـﺖ-3
B اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ واﺗـﻤـﺸـﯿــﺖ امـﻊ-4
A اﻟﻼ ﺗـﺠـﻜـﺮﯾـﺖ، ذاك اطـﻠـﻲ-5
B اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ وﻟـﺤ ـﺖ اﻟﺴﺐﻋـﺔ-6
A ﻣـﻄــﺎر اﻟـﻄـﯿـﺎر وﺧــﻠـﯾــﺖ-7
B اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ ﻓــﺎﻟﻮ ــﻔـﺔ ﻧـ ـﻋـﺔ-8
A وﻛـﺘـﻦ طــﺎر اﻟـﻄﯿـﺎر اﺑـﻚﯾـﺖ-9
B إﻟـﯿــﻦ اﻧـﺰل واﻧـﺎ ﺷـﻢﻋـﺔ-10
C ــﻂ اﻟــﺪﻣـﻌـﺔ ــﻂ وﻻ ــﻂ-11
B ﻣـﺸﯿـﺖ اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ ﻣﺠـﺘﻢﻋـﺔ-12
C وﻣـﻦ ﻣـﺸﯿـﻲ ﻋـﻨـﻚ واﻧـﺎ ـﻂ-13
B ـﻂ ﻣـﻦ اﻟـﺘـﻠﯿـﺎع اﻟـﺪمﻋـﺔ-14
2 The poet describes to his wife how he felt when he travelled far away from her. He didn’t mention her by name, but we know that from the13th line in which the pronunciation of “you” indicates that he is talking to a woman.
وﻣـﻦ ﻣـﺸﯿـﻲ ﻋـﻨـﻚ واﻧـﺎ ـﻂ-13
But since I left you, I’m dripping
3 The poet, in this poem, uses enjambment to create a sense (or a scene) of continuous suffering and crying, which he had experienced since he travelled far from his wife. In other words, the meaning doesn’t end by the end of every line, which makes the reader forced to run and jump from line to line until she/he reaches an end stop. For instance, I will display a part of the translated version using the same structure of the original one and showing its rhymes and scheme:
Tears streamed down the moment I turned A
My back and when I passed A
The door I shed till I felt tired A
Tears; And I walked on B
That paved road,the tears were like a key chain A
Until I arrived around 7 B
At the airport And I left A
The tears where I was standing as a pool. B
4 In the 5th line the word “ "ﺗﯿﺠﻜﺮﯾﺖmeans the key chain with many rings or loops. The poet here used the simile to compare his tears to the rings of the key chain and he pushes us to imagine their sound when they fall on the paved road.
5 In the last four lines the poet uses alliteration. We can see in the 11th line the word “” ﻂ repeated three times, the first one and the second mean “drop and drop”, the third means “never…before”. The poet repeats the same word in the 13th and 14th lines. This word in Hassaniya echoes the sound of the teardrops or rain drops when they fall “Gott…Gott” and that reminds us of the sound of the key chain’s rings
ــﻂ اﻟــﺪﻣـﻌـﺔ ــﻂ وﻻ ــﻂ-11
ﻣـﺸﯿـﺖ اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ ﻣﺠـﺘﻢﻋـﺔ-12
وﻣـﻦ ﻣـﺸﯿـﻲ ﻋـﻨـﻚ واﻧـﺎ ـﻂ-13
ـﻂ ﻣـﻦ اﻟـﺘـﻠﯿـﺎع اﻟـﺪﻣﻌـﺔ-14