잠의 들판으로 Towards the Field of Sleep

잠의 들판으로

잠의 병사들이 작은 창과 
방패를 쥐고몰려오고 
물러나고 
 
눈꺼풀 안에서 자욱하게 
펼쳐지는 잠의 들판 
치고받고치고받고치고받고
먼지처럼 피어오른다 
 
어디서 왔는가? 넌 
어디서? 나도 몰라 손을 
잡고 구름이 되자 뭉쳐서 
사라지자 
그러자그러자그러자 
잠의 구름 떼 
 
느닷없이 훅 코에서 빠져나온 
숨소리에 몸이 흔들리고 
 
잠의 들판은 깨어지고 병사들은 
어디론가 사라지고 찢어진 잠의
거미줄 
 
다시 잠의 들판으로 
미끄러져 들어가려고 
부른다 
거미줄거미줄거미줄 
 
언젠가는 영원히 나를 
잡아갈 잠의 병사들을
 

Towards the Field of Sleep

sleep’s soldiers
clasping small spears and shields
advance and retire
 
(beneath my eyelids
the field of sleep densely spreads)
strike/struck  strike/struck  strike/struck
dissipating like dust
 
what’s going on?
where did you come from?
no clue
let’s become cloud  holding hands
let’s disappear as one
like that  like that   like that 
sleep’s flock of cloud
 
suddenly hrmph!
snorting
as the body jerks
 
the field of sleep breaks
the soldiers disappear
that spider’s thread of sleep is torn
 
towards the field of sleep  again
nearing  slipping 
I call through
spider’s thread  spider’s thread  spider’s thread
 
to sleep’s soldiers 
who will one day seize me for eternity 
 

Towards (the) field of sleep

sleep’s soldiers
clasping small spears and shields
go in crowds and withdraw
 
under (my?) eyelid
densely spread field of sleep
strike, receive, strike, receive, strike, receive
rise up like dust.
 
where (...) come from?
where you?
I don’t know either
grabbing hands, let’s become cloud
united, let’s disappear
let’s be like that, let’s be like that, let’s be like that
flock of sleep’s cloud
 
suddenly *huk*
[from nose escaping breathing sound] at the
body/bodies shake
 
field of sleep breaks
soldiers disappear somewhere or other
sleep’s torn spider’s thread
 
again towards (the) field of sleep
entering whilst sliding
and call
spider’s thread, spider’s thread, spider’s thread
 
(to) the soldiers of sleep
who at some point will grab me for eternity
 

In our translation, the workshop group agreed that we ought to clarify who was speaking, adding pronouns at various points in the poem which aren’t specified in the original. The pro-drop nature of Korean (described here) allows the Korean speaker to drop pronoun and other parts of speech when they can be inferred from context. This allows for a rich ambiguity in Korean poetry which whilst satisfying to explore, might be misleading in an English translation. Throughout we chose to imagine the speaker as a single unified voice and the experience and exclamations coming from that one speaker. So “under eyelids” became “beneath my eyelids”. Likewise, this choice of words (preferring the formal “beneath” to the simpler “under”) seemed to underscore another element of the poem which, as our guest translator explained, was the poem’s use of registers. In the Korean, the majority of the poem employs a register that might be used when writing a journal, or speaking to oneself, it has a slightly formal quality – which is then interrupted twice (once by the exclamation and address: “what’s going on? / where did you come from?” and once by the almost comic-book book expression “hrmph!”) As we translated, we tried to capture these jumps between modes of speech and harness the several instances of opposition/contradiction within the poem.

Edward Doegar, Commissioning Editor

Guest-translator Mattho Mandersloot also prepared a phonetic version of the Korean for the workshop:

jamui deulpaneuro

jamui byeongsadeuri
jageun changgwa bangpaereul jwigo
mollyeo-ogo mulleonago

nunkkeopul aneseo
jaukage pyeolchyeojineun jamui deulpan
chigobatgo chigobatgo chigobatgo
meonjicheoreom pieooreunda

eodiseo wanneunga?
neon eodiseo?
nado molla
soneul japgo gureumi doeja
mungchyeoseo sarajija
geureoja geureoja geureoja
jamui gureum tte

neudaseopsi huk
koeseo ppajyeonaon sumsorie
momi heundeulligo

jamui deulpaneun kkaeeojigo
byeongsadeureun eodironga sarajigo
jjijeojin jamui geomijul

dasi jamui deulpaneuro
mikkeureojyeo deureogaryeogo
bureunda
geomijul geomijul geomijul

eonjenganeun yeongwonhi nareul
jabagal jamui byeongsadeureul

Original Poem by

Choi Jeongrye

Translated by

Mattho Mandersloot with The Poetry Translation Workshop Language

Korean

Country

South Korea