희망이 외롭다 Hope is Lonely

희망이 외롭다

남들은 절망이 외롭다고 말하지만
나는 희망이 더 외로운 것 같아,
절망은 중력의 평안이라고 할까,
돼지가 삼겹살이 될   때까지
힘을   다 빼고, 그냥 피  웅덩이 속으로 가라앉으면  되는 걸 뭐……
그래도 머리는 연분홍으로 웃고      있잖아, 절망엔
그런       비애의 따스함이 있네
 
희망은 때로 응급처치를 해주기도 하지만
희망의 응급처치를 싫어하는 인간도 때로 있을 수 있네,
아마 그럴 수 있네,
절망이 더 위안이 된다고 하면서,
바람에 흔들리는 찬란한 햇빛 한 줄기를 따라
약을 구하러 멀리서 왔는데
약이 잘 듣지 않는다는 것을 미리 믿을 정도로
당신은 이제 병이 깊었나,
 
희망의 토템 폴인 선인장……
사전에서 모든 단어가 다 날아가버린 그 밤에도
나란히 신발을 벗어놓고 의자 앞에 조용히 서 있는
파란 번개 같은 그 순간에도
또 희망이란 말은 간신히 남아
그 희망이란 말 때문에 다 놓아버리지도 못한다,
희망이란 말이 세계의 폐허가 완성되는 것을 가로막는다,
왜 폐허가 되도록 내버려두지 않느냐고
가슴을 두드리기도 하면서
오히려 그 희망 때문에
무섭도록 더 외로운 순간들이 있다
 
희망의 토템 폴인 선인장……
피가 철철 흐르도록 아직, 더, 벅차게 사랑하라는 명령인데
 
도망치고 싶고 그만두고 싶어도
이유 없이 나누어주는 저 찬란한 햇빛, 아까워
물에 피가 번지듯……
희망과 나,
희망은 종신형이다
희망이 외롭다
 

Hope is Lonely

Though others say ‘despair is lonely’,
hope is even lonelier to me.
Shall I say that despair is peaceful as gravity?
Until the time the pig becomes pork
all it has to do is sink into
its pooling blood, drained of all strength
the pink head still smiles doesn’t it? In despair
sorrow has that sort of warmth.
 
Hope at times offers first aid but
sometimes there are people who don’t want hope’s first aid,
could be.
While saying that despair offers more comfort,
pursuing one ray of sunlight trembling in the breeze,
coming from afar to get medicine.
Your sickness having grown deeper,
you already trust it will not work.
 
Hope’s totem pole is a cactus…
 
Even on that night when all the words from the dictionary flew away,
even at that moment like blue lightning,
after taking off shoes side-by-side, standing quietly by a chair,
again the word hope barely remained
but because of that word hope, all cannot be discarded.
The word hope prevents the completion of the world’s ruins.
Asking why not let the ruins continue
while beating our breasts -
rather because of that hope
times are fearfully lonely.
 
Hope’s totem pole is a cactus,
it’s a command to love so fully blood keeps pouring out.
 
Even though it wants to quit, to run away,
sunlight pointlessly shares itself, what a waste,
like blood spreading in water…
hope and I,
hope is a life sentence,
hope is lonely.
 

Hope lonely is

People ‘despair is lonely’ say
I hope more lonely reckon
despair gravity’s peace shall I call?
Pig bacon become until the time
strength all taken, just blood pool into sinking down enough surely
still head in pink smile/laugh isn’t it? In despair
that sort of sorrow’s warmth there is
 
Hope at times first-aid offer does
hope’s first aid hating humans at time there can be,
maybe it’s possible.
Despair offers more comfort while saying,
in the breeze trembling a bright ray of sunlight following,
to obtain medicine from afar came but
that medicine does not work already convinced
you sickness now grew deeper
 
Hope’s totem pole being cactus
 
from the dictionary all the words flew away even on a night when,
after taking off my shoes side-by-side, before a chair quietly standing
blue lightning-like at that moment even
again hope-word barely remaining
that hope-word because of, all discard cannot.
The hope-word the world’s ruins being completed prevents.
why I don’t let the ruins continue, asking
my breast while beating
rather that hope because of
frighteningly lonelier times there are
 
Hope’s totem pole that’s cactus
blood dripdrop flows till still, more, fully, to love it’s a command
 
To escape I wish, finish though I wish
reason-without sharing that bright sunlight wasteful
in water blood spreading like . . .
hope and I
hope life-sentence is.
Hope lonely is
 

Our translator Brother Anthony began by introducing the feminist, surrealist poet Kim Seung-Hee, and giving us some useful pointers about Korean, such as the fact the verb often comes last in the sentence. We then launched into this rich, haunting poem, which we struggled to do justice in the allotted two hours. Just the discussion about whether hope is lonely or lonesome (like Elvis) took up five minutes!

There was a particularly interesting conversation about the pork – a kind of barbecue bacon – in the first verse, which one workshop participant described as ‘the best dinner in the world’, and we learnt that a pig’s head is often prominently displayed at Korean celebrations as a blessing, with banknotes poked into its mouth. We also loved the image of hope’s totem pole as a cactus – it suggests survival in a barren landscape but also pain.

The lack of a clearly defined subject in much Korean poetry caused us all sorts of problems as the clock ticked down– who is taking off their shoes? Who is beating their breasts? Is it the sun who wants to quit? The I? The you? But we kept as much ambiguity as we could – in these times perhaps we are all ‘fearfully lonely’.

Clare Pollard, Poet-facilitator

Original Poem by

Kim Seung Hee

Translated by

Brother Anthony with The Poetry Translation Workshop Language

Korean

Country

South Korea