Notes after Watching HBO in a Hotel Room

Throw open that leaf of glass and let
            me slurp the weather’s teeth
so wild & dark, thunderous touching
triumphant & writhing
as I die.
Pray sit beside me
and grasp my heart
that can’t stop glancing at goodbye
for the relief it proffers.
I have stepped on the earth
dived into the horizon
melted in all the hatred of existing
while enclosed in dead materials
whilst all that is allowed to live
is the head
It turns out
bowing in cowardice is much
more charming.
No longer do I want to provide service
as self,
an existence where
what I see is no longer this self
of mine,
so here –
I hand over my stake
without the slightest pretence of toughness.
I want to sneak away
according to terms I determine

Hotel Luwansa, 17th December, 2017